妓者工作
一個打扮入時的女子深夜漫步鄭州街頭，一巡警問道：幹什麼的？
女子答：做妓者工作的。
巡警肅然起敬，溫和的問道：請問哪家報社的？
妓女羞答道：晚抱的。
哪家晚報？
妓女羞答道：和男晚抱。
巡警：河南晚報，不錯不錯，我喜歡！
妓女羞答道：這工作一般都是晚上敢搞。
巡警：晚上趕稿確實挺辛苦的。
妓女羞答道：謝謝大哥理解，有空來搞！
巡警：好的，一定一定！
仙併仙
一個男子很有錢，要娶媳婦，他有一位很窮的親戚，實在不願發帖給他，但於禮不合，所以還是發了張帖子，上頭附註：
如果你來，表示你貪吃；
如果不來，表示你小氣。
這位富翁便要看他來不來。
婚禮當天，看見這位窮親戚，窮親戚看到他，便將包禮的紅包給他，就進去吃大餐，富翁將禮打開，發現裡面只有一塊錢，還附了張紙條，寫道：
如果你收，表示你貪財；
如果不收，表示你嫌少。
厲害﹍厲害！
大家該多學學這窮親戚的超高EQ與反應！
不要一時受到激怒就臉紅脖子粗的！呵呵！
Sunday, June 21, 2009
女子征婚
一位女子，开出征婚条件有两点
1.要帅
2.要有车
电脑去帮她搜寻 结果:象棋
这位女子，不服搜出的结果又输入
1.要有漂亮的房子
2.要有很多钱
电脑去帮她再次搜寻的结果:银行
此女子仍然不失望，继续输入条件
1要长得酷
2又要有安全感
结果搜出的结果是:ultraman
此女子仍然不失望，还继续输入条件
1.要帅
2.要有车
3.要有漂亮的房子
4.要有很多钱
5要长得酷
6又要有安全感
电脑去帮她再次搜寻的结果: ultraman在银行玩象棋
it sounds so cool..haha
1.要帅
2.要有车
电脑去帮她搜寻 结果:象棋
这位女子，不服搜出的结果又输入
1.要有漂亮的房子
2.要有很多钱
电脑去帮她再次搜寻的结果:银行
此女子仍然不失望，继续输入条件
1要长得酷
2又要有安全感
结果搜出的结果是:ultraman
此女子仍然不失望，还继续输入条件
1.要帅
2.要有车
3.要有漂亮的房子
4.要有很多钱
5要长得酷
6又要有安全感
电脑去帮她再次搜寻的结果: ultraman在银行玩象棋
it sounds so cool..haha
Things girls don't realize
1. Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.
2. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch Goodbye.
9. Giving a guy a hanging message like 'You know what?!..uh...nevermind..' would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
11. Guys are very open about themselves.
12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
14. Guys love you more than you love them.
15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.
16. No matter how much guys talk about butts and boobs, personality is key.
17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, 'Please come and listen to me.'
23. ,b>If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
32. Not all guys are jerks. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of them.
33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs. haha it's true..
34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.
37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.
I actually don't what to say when I read this thing..well I just simply don't like number 33-36..it sounds like duh =.=
2. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch Goodbye.
9. Giving a guy a hanging message like 'You know what?!..uh...nevermind..' would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
11. Guys are very open about themselves.
12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
14. Guys love you more than you love them.
15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.
16. No matter how much guys talk about butts and boobs, personality is key.
17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, 'Please come and listen to me.'
23. ,b>If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
32. Not all guys are jerks. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of them.
33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs. haha it's true..
34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.
37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.
I actually don't what to say when I read this thing..well I just simply don't like number 33-36..it sounds like duh =.=
Saturday, June 20, 2009
How Poor Are We
One day a father and his rich family took his son to a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"Very good Dad!" replied his son.
"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.
"Yeah!"
"And what did you learn?"
The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon." When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.
His son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"
Our outlook on life depends on the way you look at things. What others may think as riches, others may want. The most important things in life are your friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life. If you have these then you have everything!
"Very good Dad!" replied his son.
"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.
"Yeah!"
"And what did you learn?"
The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon." When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.
His son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"
Our outlook on life depends on the way you look at things. What others may think as riches, others may want. The most important things in life are your friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life. If you have these then you have everything!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Last few days I really feel sad and angry..
you know why?..
i actually asked people to send me something and i was in a hurry
so i asked my friend faster and guess what?..
i got scolded by my friend..
because i disrespect my friend..
and i was wondering that what have i done?
and i just asked my friend to be fast and without nudging my friend..
what makes my friend so hot?
some more said that not in mood..scolded me bla bla bla..
and said 'wtf'..
this doesn't make my friend to gain respect from me..
i don't care who the hack you are..
how good you are ..
how smart you are..
how ....you are..
and in my eyes everyone is just the same..
if you want to gain respect from people..
then at the first place you shouldn't disrespect me..
when you're not in mood you show me..
when i'm not in mood i didn't show you..
because of what?
who am i?
because of i put our friendship first..and remember that i'm your friend..
if you don't want me this friend..fine..
don't be friend..
but i just wanted to tell you that..
i really hot and wanted to..
but thank God ..i didn't angry at that time..
but when i tried to recall back..i feel childish in your reaction..
that's all for now..
i forgive you
and you're still my friend..
and everything is fine now and came in to normal..
so thanks for reading..
!!..haha
you know why?..
i actually asked people to send me something and i was in a hurry
so i asked my friend faster and guess what?..
i got scolded by my friend..
because i disrespect my friend..
and i was wondering that what have i done?
and i just asked my friend to be fast and without nudging my friend..
what makes my friend so hot?
some more said that not in mood..scolded me bla bla bla..
and said 'wtf'..
this doesn't make my friend to gain respect from me..
i don't care who the hack you are..
how good you are ..
how smart you are..
how ....you are..
and in my eyes everyone is just the same..
if you want to gain respect from people..
then at the first place you shouldn't disrespect me..
when you're not in mood you show me..
when i'm not in mood i didn't show you..
because of what?
who am i?
because of i put our friendship first..and remember that i'm your friend..
if you don't want me this friend..fine..
don't be friend..
but i just wanted to tell you that..
i really hot and wanted to..
but thank God ..i didn't angry at that time..
but when i tried to recall back..i feel childish in your reaction..
that's all for now..
i forgive you
and you're still my friend..
and everything is fine now and came in to normal..
so thanks for reading..
!!..haha
Friday, June 12, 2009
Friend of God
yeah..like this song a lot !!
who am i? who am i?
I am a friend of God..
who are you? who are you?
You are a friend of God !..
yeah..wooooooo...!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
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